Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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