Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
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Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
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I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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