My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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