trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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