Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
