so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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