i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize