We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
