At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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