I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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