It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
