This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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