I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
