Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize