we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
