I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
