no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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