can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i think i just lost a toe
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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