don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
