But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
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I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
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Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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