They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
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Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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