the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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