are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
