just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
