do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize