im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
