drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My pussy is not your playground.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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