By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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