That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
