You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Buhtt sex?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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