Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
