the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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