Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
