you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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