I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
honey bunches of taint.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
