thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
