I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
