its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
