He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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