she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
