Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
