don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
