i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
