So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
