You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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