So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i think i have two assholes
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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