you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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