Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
