Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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