So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
zippers are such a cool invention
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
