just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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