Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
