Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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