evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
