No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
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That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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