sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
