i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
