Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
