Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
