I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
